in your defense I didn't know you had a son
it seems silly as I wore his clothes
but even when I put them on
what was I to you?
love happened to other people
milestones for another traveller's road
but today you tell me you have spare aftershave
even when you look at me and see my cheeks are smooth
like a father says to his boy, knowing he will be a man
my mother worries how I'll smell and how I'll feel about it
I bled for years alone, but we laugh about my sweat
is this what the other travellers felt?
was I the only one moving?
were they already home?
that little boy seeing horrible certainty
trying to make things right again and giving up so soon
trying to pay attention to the road signs
walking into traffic all the way
I'm weeping for him now
the tears roll down the smoothness of my face
the uncertainty would frighten me
if I hadn't known the certainty so long