I keep writing notes on brown paper
wrapped around things I hope will bring a smile
that one you do where your cheeks flush and your head bows a little
it's an everything moment, that small smile
when I write poetry about you
there's no rhyme or meter
just so much of you that I need to write it down
as if that will ease a pressure in my head
or spell out the things my heart contains
I used to think that love meant being afraid
afraid of losing something that took from me
but was more than having nothing at all
I learned better, but I also didn't know
I didn't know that smile
It hit me in the chest that first night
Your eyes met mine, and something happened
I didn't know what it was
I didn't know infatuation
The giddiness of 'what is this?' and 'she likes me!'
The boyish joy of being a fool to impress a girl
Saying yes when I had no idea if I could make it there
And accidentally asking you to dinner
You standing by that chip shop
What a sentence
But it stunned me all the same
'There she is, this is real'
Is this a date?
There's this bolt of lightning
increasingly familiar
but there all the same
when I see you
In the street
At my door
Lying next to me in bed
And when you do that smile
That first smile
Did you know that I can hear that smile
when you call me a dork?