stairs

I don't recall the first time

I'm told there was a book I dropped

and small me that I was

I fell

I remember a cast and sling

the cast got in the way

the sling felt like a hug

The second time I can't forget

I left a letter in my bedside drawer

then decided not to

and stood staring for a while

I wondered how to make it work

if anyone would know

why I was there in the first place

I didn't

turning away, I took a deep breath

like when they dive off from a boat

and dropped like a limbed stone

the fall was slow and I betrayed myself

twisting like a cat

curling round my head

that hadn't been the plan

when I landed at the bottom

I was lying in the way

between the kitchen and the TV

stop mucking around

I felt a sudden certainty

like taxes, but the other one

a phantom pain of childhood

that didn't make it to the ground floor